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After dinner, we went back to our hotel room, drunk as lushes on spring break, and promptly passed out at 10pm.

But we realized why everyone wanted to know—it was because we were a fantasy. Such is life. The second night we decided to have a three course meal by the sea—one of the many romantic and sensual add-ons available at Desire.

One option was make-your-own-porno, wherein a real videographer would come and film you having sex with your partner.

After our romantic dining experience, we made our way to the show on the main piazza. Desire puts on a show every evening and female guests seem to get very into the theme, dressing in sexy costumes and mesh clothing.

The true spectacle was not the highly talented pole dancer, however, nor the feather bikini clad strippers, but Lisa, a very drunk, very exuberant hotel guest.

Lisa volunteered for everything. She climbed into a prop bathtub and had champagne drank out of her snatch. But more impressive even than Lisa, was a couple in their mid-seventies.

Both card carrying members of the AARP, the woman had her breasts completely out of a top that ended just beneath them. Her seemingly demure husband wore a fanny-pack, cargo shorts, and a Hawaiian shirt.

They go to Desire and resorts like it on the regular. They regaled me with a story of a gang bang on a prior visit, during which Sheila serviced several men while Bernie watched.

I learned nothing on this trip if not that penises are as unique as snowflakes. Extremely hungover, Scarlett and I spent the next day swimming and sunbathing.

Being in the pool at Desire was like being the human manifestation of Saturn, surrounded by a ring of dongs. It was a buffet of naked men, all with vastly varying penis sizes.

The crown jewel of the pool scene was a rather rotund man in his sixties with a truly astonishing Prince Albert a penis piercing, for the uninitiated.

After two nights at Desire Riviera, we were off to the second location: Desire Pearl, about 20 minutes away by taxi, on another part of the coast.

This hotel is smaller and much more romantic, geared towards nudist couples who just want to be naked with themselves, rather than sex partying and swingers though that is a component.

We were assigned the penthouse I know, so bougie. We loved it. We had a terrace that overlooked the ocean, a marble bathtub that was basically invented for Instagram, and our own personal hot pool.

Not exactly the most humble of experiences, but certainly blessed. A little up there, but this is an all-inclusive resort; all the food, drinks, and fun are free.

We began our stay with a couples massage from two sexy masseurs. But I was entirely wrong; No happy endings were had though Scarlett later told me she was having the exact same thoughts.

The spa—and the hotel in general—is not that kind of place. Our second-to-last night, we knew we had to rage out.

Back then, you know, it was different. So here are the picture of love among old married couples — not all old, not all married. We know. We just like to believe they are.

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Subcategories This category has the following 4 subcategories, out of 4 total. Media in category "Nude standing couples" The following 66 files are in this category, out of 66 total.

Bathing nude under a waterfall. Body painting Bottomless woman and nude man. Brighton WNBR 1. Cambridge WNBR Cyclonudista DSCF Dad with daughter 4.

Dad with daughter. DSCF DSCN Fremont Solstice Parade - naked couple Girl Love. I learned nothing on this trip if not that penises are as unique as snowflakes.

Extremely hungover, Scarlett and I spent the next day swimming and sunbathing. Being in the pool at Desire was like being the human manifestation of Saturn, surrounded by a ring of dongs.

It was a buffet of naked men, all with vastly varying penis sizes. The crown jewel of the pool scene was a rather rotund man in his sixties with a truly astonishing Prince Albert a penis piercing, for the uninitiated.

After two nights at Desire Riviera, we were off to the second location: Desire Pearl, about 20 minutes away by taxi, on another part of the coast.

This hotel is smaller and much more romantic, geared towards nudist couples who just want to be naked with themselves, rather than sex partying and swingers though that is a component.

We were assigned the penthouse I know, so bougie. We loved it. We had a terrace that overlooked the ocean, a marble bathtub that was basically invented for Instagram, and our own personal hot pool.

Not exactly the most humble of experiences, but certainly blessed. A little up there, but this is an all-inclusive resort; all the food, drinks, and fun are free.

We began our stay with a couples massage from two sexy masseurs. But I was entirely wrong; No happy endings were had though Scarlett later told me she was having the exact same thoughts.

The spa—and the hotel in general—is not that kind of place. Our second-to-last night, we knew we had to rage out. We decided to just play into the twin theme that had followed us everywhere.

At the disco, we met an incredibly interesting Dutch couple who had been together for nearly 25 years. We drunkenly ordered pizza to our room and invited them upstairs.

We chilled in the hot tub naked and talked all night long about life, swinging, and non-monogamy. It was the bonding experience I never even knew we needed.

Scarlett seems a refreshed version of herself, more comfortable in her own skin. I feel like a whole new woman with a whole new lease on life.

We had the time of our lives and rehash the adventure almost everyday. We will be regaling our family with stories of penises, stripper poles, and the orgies seen for many years to come.

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